It was awkward. I found myself in full on polite bow mode when I saw that the person I was greeting was not bowing, but trying to shake my hand. I quickly moved into handshake mode when I could see my Japanese counterpart moved into Bow mode and withdrew his hand.
Awkward.
I knew I needed to make a good impression. As a foreigner trying to get new English teaching business for my company or as a new teacher striving to make a good impression, first impressions were crucial.
Although making a first impression is considered vital in the US too, we really don’t spend too much time teaching young people to give a proper handshake. Firm grip, but not too firm. Make eye contact but don’t leer. And PLEASE NO SWEATY PALMS. How long to hold it? How many pumps?
In Japan, they literally start teaching babies how to bow. And it’s not just as children. All through school and even college graduates spend time in their new company’s orientation re-learning how to bow. It is important. How deeply to bow? How long to hold the bow? What is the relationship between you and the person you are greeting? A proper bow is very, very important to building a long and productive relationship.
I took pride in my ability to know how to bow. But when I realized for many Japanese people, being able to shake hands was important too. It was stressful until I started to have fun with it.
So when I would see the Bicultural Colloquial Salutation was about to get confusing, I would say“両方の言語で挨拶しましょう (Ryōhō no gengo de aisatsu shimashou) which means “let’s greet in both cultures”. After a little awkwardness, we would have fun with it. We would bow and then we would shake. Fun.
Different cultures greet each other differently. Some kiss on the cheek, some shake hands, some bow, some hug, some never touch, and some even stick out their tongue. Meeting new people should be an adventure, not a stressful burden. So should crossing cultures.